| Thoughts.... |
[03 Feb 2005|03:30am] |
Welcomed home with open arms and sleepless nights,
Strange it seems like yesterday I was here alone,
Owned up to all the past that still casts it's shadow,
Too dark to tell what the hell is down the road,
I still taste the blood I bled from our last fight,
Spitting out the teeth and integrity that you disowned,
Trying to forget the things I've seen in my last year of life,
I've learned to much about myself that I wish I'd never known.
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| Here I come... |
[31 Jan 2005|02:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Buck O Nine :: My Town |
] |
I'm coming back to San Deigo...
Taking the train down there today & I should be in hte city by 8:00.
Haha, you can all rest uneasy knowing I'll be back.
Wow, I could really fill up a couple of books with what I've witnessed over the past year of my life. I could title it "2004, My Trip to Hell and Back..."
Yeah, it's been hard, but it was a learning experience I suppose. One I needed.
I'll be staying at my folks place until I get my own apartment. So if anyone wants to look me up, that's where I'll be...
See you guys around.
|
|
| And Almost 8 months later... |
[16 Dec 2004|02:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
NoFX :: I Wore Out The Soles Of My Party Boots |
] |
I emerge from the depths of hell... haha, hey guys, I'm back...
Wow, haven't seen the likes of this update page in a bit.
And on that note, if you're expecting an update, I may disapoint you.
I just wanted to say hello and see if anyone responded.
Sure do miss San Diego.
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| You can't fake this and I can't take anymore!!! |
[20 Apr 2004|08:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Sum 41 :: Moron |
] |
"All this confusion is running deep inside my head...
How long can I keep this up before I end up dead?"
Wow, the new Sum 41 song, "Moron" rocks. So does the whole Rock Against Bush CD. I suggest everyone go buy it at Best Buy, it's only 10 bucks, and it comes with a DVD.
School today was good... hehe, all of today was good...
Yeah, April 20th, had a GREAT day today!
Haha, hope everyone else had a good 4:20.
|
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| I feel terrible. |
[18 Apr 2004|02:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 gloomy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Blink 182 :: Josie |
] |
I don't know why, and maybe I'm just exhausted, but I really feel terrible right now. And this feeling only makes me think of everything in my life that could maybe in some way be considered kind of bad... I guess it's not a very good way of thinking, but tomorrow I should feel better.
I just got back from a good night of hanging out with friends, so maybe it's just a let down to not be out having fun right now.
Speaking of having fun...
THANK YOU DAZEL!!! Tonight was rad. Sorry if you get in trouble. I really am. Yeah, it was a great time. You seemed a bit blue at the end of the night... (insert joke about my color here)... hahaha. But I had a great time. Thanks.
And you, yeah you. I miss you... a lot.
Wish I could feel at home again.
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| Parents are out of town... |
[16 Apr 2004|12:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Three Dog Night :: Shambala |
] |
Alright, parents are gone. Not like I'm gonna do anything they'd hate... but it's just nice to have the freedom. One whole week; I'm gonna have a big mess to clean up.
So I saw Kill Bill Vol. 1 today, and damn, that movie is awesome. Way good. Now I gotta go see the sequel. I wanna get the soundtrack to it too. Anyhow, yeah, good film.
So I'm really bored.
Yep...
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| "Forget reality, waking up is hard to do" |
[15 Apr 2004|03:08am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Turtles :: So Happy Together |
] |
Today in school we watched "Adaptation" with Nicholas Cage. I actually liked it quite a bit and had no problem writing my reacton essay for it. The teacher is great, and I should have no problem in that class. Life seems good. I feel like everything has been great lately, and it's only gonna get better.
Well good times.
"Can't complain when there's nothing there to blame"
I feel like I have the color green stuck in my head.
Wierd.
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| I can't believe I'll be bright for another. |
[13 Apr 2004|04:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Alien Ant Farm :: Glow |
] |
"I'll be the switch she turns on,
She'll be mine too, I'll get off,
I'll be the fuse that she blows,
And even with the lights out we'll glow..."
My sentiments exactly.
So over the past two weeks I keep seeing this chick at college who really interests me. So why haven't I taken the initiative to talk to her? After all I am the loud-mouthed, over the top, no fear towards meeting people Jason that you all know... right?
Guess not...
Maybe this person I've matured (and I use the term loosely) into has changed me for the better. And maybe that slow normal apporoach to her will work out better after all.
I mean, honestly, did that -WlLL YOU BE MY GlRLFRlEND?- line ever work? And if so, did it amount to anything? Okay, anything good? No.
So, ask her out for coffee next week?
Let me find my courage first, I'll get back to you on it.
"And even with the lights down real low...
We'll glow,
We'll glow,
We'll glow..."
|
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| I've never met a pearl quite like you, that can shine and rot at the same time through... |
[11 Apr 2004|10:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Distillers :: Drain the |
] |
"I'm living on shattered faith
The kind that likes to restrict your breath
Theres never been a better time than this
to suffocate on eternal bliss"
Ah, another sleepless night. I hear it's Easter Sunday. Whatev.
Damn, I am SO tired, but at least I finished all my homework. Well, mostly... thanks for the suggestions, but I figured out what to do on my own... :)
Maybe someone can tell me how to post a picture of it on here.
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| HELP! |
[09 Apr 2004|07:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Tired & Irritated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Styx :: Renegade |
] |
I really need some help for some inspiration on my art project. I cannot think of one thing to draw. All I need is something. Just something to be the main focus. I have no clue what to draw! Any ideas will be much appreciated. Thanks...
|
|
| Back to School ::::::: |
[05 Apr 2004|08:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Metallica :: For Whom the Bell Tolls |
] |
So I had my first day of college today. It was pretty rad to say the least. I think I'm really gonna do well, and actually like it. So that's always good.
Damn, I'm tired.
Oh yeah, I'm so excited, on April 20th Rock Against Bush Vol. 1 is coming out. Sum 41's got a new song on it called "Moron". Totally sweet. Plus their new album is coming out in June I think... they're wrapping up production on it in the middle of May. They're playing some shows on the Grind Tour (in canada) over the summer. Too bad they're not playing Warped. Oh well, their new albums gonna rock!
So yeah, that's about it.
I really need a guitar.
|
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| Give me eleven Excederin my head'll spin, Medicine gets me revvin' like a 747 jet engine... |
[04 Apr 2004|03:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Incubus :: Here In My Room |
] |
So the other night I took one too many Excedrin and woke up in a blur. Couldn't see straight, and my head hurt way bad. I think I had some music on, as I stumbled to the bathroom... I could barely hold myself up... think I fell over in the hall way... some how I managed to get back into bed... and that's all I remember. Damn, crazy night.
Do it again?
Sure... why not?
I think I thought I was dead.
Maybe it was a dream.
********************************************************
Writen later, in a much more... relaxed state of mind...
Odditites all around me, surround me and dumbfound me what could this sound be?
It's as strange as a deranged brain, set out to sever main vains and derail trains...
A membrane in my head, to dead to be read, or mislead by anyone trying to paint the sky red with they've been fed,
My eyes, too wide open to sleep a wink, or even blink,
Deeper into this nightmare I sink,
I take a drink, too cool to heat up the night, a fright for anysight, especially what might occurr, anoher blur of lights and hazzardous bites that rip at my flesh, nothing left but bare bones resting in their home, too deep too be amazed as I sink in... sad to say, I'm a slave to my own grave.
|
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| I wish I was queer so I could get chicks... |
[01 Apr 2004|03:35am] |
I think it's sad when I, according to this test turn out to be 37% gay and am slightly offended. No, don't get me wrong, I was kinda taken back that I found out I wasn't gayer. And slightly offended that I wasn't... does that make me any gayer?! Am I trying to be gay? I guess I just don't wanna be one of those straight guy jocks who grabs a girl's ass just to have a laugh with his buddies. Haha... me? Gay? Nah, I only kissed a boy once... okay twice, but only once with tongue. I think I'd be gay if guys acted more like girls, and didn't have wieners, and had boobs and vaginas too. Alright... I admit it... I'm straight, you got me.
So yeah, can't sleep.
Gotta catch the train home in like 5 hours.
Miss my momma. It's nice to really miss her.
I'm so sick of being ADD... I can't sleep. My minds always running a million miles an hour.
And it keeps going, and going, and going...
|
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| It all makes sense now. |
[31 Mar 2004|02:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Sum 41 :: Pain 4 Pleasure |
] |
Well, still up in LA. Being up here is kind of nice. It's like taking a short break from life, and taking a step back... guess it might be what I needed. I'm all ready to start school, and I'm so excited about this summer. I think I have one person that I can thank for that.
I feel like my life is just about to begin.
You ever wish you could go back and start life over with all of the knowledge you have now?
That's what I feel like I'm doing.
*************************************
Cartoons, pinball, a house, and a girlfriend...
Yeah, life would be perfect.
Thursday morning train ride...
Next stop, my new life...
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|
| This place reminds me of... |
[28 Mar 2004|10:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hot |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Sum 41 :: Crazy Amanda Bunkface |
] |
A time that's way too old.
Yeah, I'm up in LA. Sorry if you stopped by my house for a little lovin' and I wasn't there, god knows so many of my ho's have. Ah, I'm in a great mood, a little sweaty, but good. Anyhow, I went to Disneyland the other day. Fun times! Yeah I went on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride for you. Yeah those animatronics are gross! In the water?! No sir! Hahha... ah, I'll be so tired in like ten minutes, been way too hyper today. I went to Universal Studios today, that place was packed and hot, no good. Plus everyone was walking slow, lame. But! Guess who was two people in front of me in line! Beans!!! From Even Stevens! Haha, man that kids ugly.
Anyone miss me?
...
No?
Fine...
So this girl gave me her number the other day. I didn't even have to ask for it... she's like extra punk, not like "Punk's cool..." In fact, I wonder if she even listens to punk... she's just kinda dirty... hehe, for some reason, that's hot. Sad huh? I'd be in love with any dirty girl from a third world country... haha. Nah, it's something about her... whatev... I'll give her a call when I get home... so yeah, leave me a comment, I miss all you guys... except you.
|
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| Under the red hot moon... |
[26 Mar 2004|03:58am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 apathetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Living End :: Can't Save Us |
] |
Tonight was a weird night.
It got super busy at one point; everyone was IMing me, and I was writing a paper for someone, and drawing up some flash art for someone else.
Even though everyone was talking to me, and I was busy, I still felt like I was missing something. I dunno why, but that feelings always kinda sitting in the back of my mind, sometimes it's really obvious, and sometimes I don't notice it.
I don't know why I'm posting this, maybe someone can help... maybe not. Maybe things will come together when I start school. Maybe that special someone will be there. I guess I'd better not hope for too much. It's only let me down before. Having high hopes isn't as easy as when I was a kid...
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| Sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight... |
[25 Mar 2004|12:58am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
She's My Heroin :: Agent 51 |
] |
Sleeping lately has been so strange, either I barely get any sleep or I get way too much...
A while ago I was having these horrid nightmares where zombies were chasing me. I'd wake up and be so scared that I couldn't go back to sleep. And dreams are getting weirder than ever now... last night I had like three dreams, and all of them were really strange. In one I got a death threat from an ex-girlfriends dad while I was hanging out at my friend's house. In another I was with all these different celebrities on a boat, and then we were underwater on some TV show and the Creature from the Black Lagoon was swimming near us. At first I thought it was awesome, but then I started freaking out, so scared of what it would do to me, and Carmen Electra and Corey Feldman and some other hot celebrity were trying to calm me down and were holding me down too. After a few minutes of struggling and trying to swim to the surface, I realized I was on land...
I have no idea what that means, but I'm open to any suggestions.
:: :: :: :: ::
"This grrl's as smooth as day old whiskey,
As tough as day old bread,
A two-ton tire tread.
Someday, I know that she'll be leavin',
And I'll sit here believin',
I'll see those eyes again...
But I'm gonna insane right now if I don't talk to her,
And she's not comin' back this time I swear..."
Damn I need a grrlfriend.
Pathetic? Yes.
|
|
| Our lives are changing lanes, you ran me off the road... |
[23 Mar 2004|01:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Strokes :: Reptilia |
] |
So I got a new journal layout. How does everyone like it? Yeah, it's pretty kick ass. Thanks Jess. So today I went down to my old work and picked up my final paycheck, so I now have some cash in the bank. Hopefully I'll have some more money by Saturday or else my trip to L.A. might be kinda lame.
I can't believe how early I woke up today... I got up at like 4:30. What the hell is wrong with me? At least I ended up getting some stuff done today.
I really need to pick up a copy of The Creature from the Black Lagoon... but I think it's out of print. How horrible is that?! They can manage to make movies like Underworld but can't release Creature from the Black Lagoon? And therein lies what's wrong with todays world.
Damn, pinball is the coolest.
|
|
| Hey. |
[22 Mar 2004|01:42pm] |
So I'm back...
Well, I'm going to school starting on the 5th. That's about all that's new with me.
Just looking forward to summer. Or fearing it... I can't decide yet.
Life's decent.
No one's gonna read this...
Trust me this time,
It hurts twice as bad,
All the advice you had,
It keeps me alive...
With you here, I've got nothing to fear...
Except fear itself, and you of course...
But there must be some reason that you're still by my side,
Keeping one person in who I confide.
It kills me,
Trust me it hurts twice as bad,
Yet I'd still go right back...
Just memories...
That's all they are.
I'll keep telling myself that...
Maybe it will subside this pain inside me.
Ever so sweet... you baked it in cakes for me.
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